Meeting Mohammed and Alia (ESL Blog 6)

Imagine a beautiful spring day. Some might say that they want to go play at the park. Some might want to read a classic book. But for me, my favorite thing to do is to sit outside with some friends and just talk about life. It may seem slightly cheesy, but I think the combination of the warmth from the sunlight and seeing the beauty that nature brings allows for the best of life conversations. I confirmed my theory on this beautiful Thursday afternoon as Mohammed, Alia, and I found a spot of soft grass in the commons and began one of the best conversations we had throughout the semester. 

            We began with our usual conversation, talking about school, our upcoming weekends, and our families. After a short while of this small talk, we drifted into talking about how Mohammed loved that they had the opportunity to go to his friend’s ‘American’ wedding. “It was a fun event, but here it is not as big of a party like at home!” I laughed a little and asked what he meant, because to me, weddings here are huge parties! He explained that at home the weddings begin with the official ceremony at the wife’s home, in which the couple is actually married. But then, the real party starts. Then, they normally shift the event to another relative’s house, where they eat and socialize. He said they do this for a couple of hours, then get up the next morning and party some more, and repeat this cycle for the next few days! Man, and I thought our wedding receptions were crazy. He further clarified that in his country of Saudi the man pays for the entire wedding, in addition to giving the wife’s family a ‘bride price’ and giving the bride a ton of jewelry, all adding up to around $80,000! Well, now I would definitely want a part in THAT kind of a wedding.

Still reveling in imagining this type of crazy party, Alia started telling me that this weekend was one of the times where she realized that her favorite part of being in America is the freedom that she has while being here. “While we’re at home, I have more freedoms than you would think, but when we are here, I just can’t explain how much more, well, free I feel.” She began to explain how she couldn’t really explain what she meant; but she knows that everyone here is very welcoming and pretty much do what they want to do, which she loves. Like for example, she could go to the wedding and sit wherever she wanted instead of having to sit with her side of the family. She said that this showed her that instead of following the status quo, like when she’s at home, people here seem to do what they feel is best. I guess I had never thought about it in this way, and it really did make me grateful for being able to be in such a free country.

After we exhausted many more topics that I had never thought we would get to, like camping and even 9/11, we all sat for a few more minutes in the still bright sunshine. I felt a twinge of sadness at this being our last meeting, but I knew that this was a great note to end on. Not only have I learned about their culture from what they have told me, I have learned about mine from their reflection on it. I have also learned that while words are important in being able to communicate, the most important thing is to share life with other people, whether your sister, mom, dad, or the couple that was assigned to you for an ESL assignment. 

Changing the Norm (1960s Blog)

The 60s decade has always been one that intrigued me. I think I picture it as this bright time period where everyone lived happily in brightly colored hippie clothes and went to music festivals. Obviously this is a gross generalization, but I think this mental construct set the stage for my research in the magazine records section of the library.

As I found a silent corner in the back rows, I started thumbing through the September 1963 issue of “Seventeen.” In contrast to the cartoon-type ads I saw in the 1930s edition, this issue exploded with brightly colored pictures. My favorite picture was that of a few colorful rotary phones that you could buy; it made me wish that I could use that instead of my iPhone! A particular aspect that interested me was the clothing. An article called “Dressing like a Tween” showed girls how to dress ‘hip’ for their age, which consisted of furry jackets and penny loafers. I found myself wishing I could have seen everyone dressed up in those outfits back then with all the bright colors and patterns.

An interesting aspect was that the magazine included an article written by Eleanor Roosevelt. In one quote she stated that “Many of our young people are still going to school in their mid-twenties, a period when their creative process is at its peak, and they could be putting their energies to use in a job or profession instead.” Immediately following this article was one entitled “I’m Going to Get a Job”, which I found extremely well placed.

At the top, there was a picture of a young woman who had a baby on her hip. The article began by describing this woman’s situation: she told her husband that she was completely bored of the day to day tasks of a housewife, so she had decided to get a low-paying job as a typewriter. Her husband was appalled, and she described how emotionally and physically difficult she found it to be to take care of her family and have a job at the same time. The article then closed by describing how other women could go about getting a job if they feel that they ‘must’, but only after talking to a psychologist and deciding if the small pay would be worth the loss of freedom.

After reading this, I guess I should have been angry that the women in the 60s had to deal with this prejudice. But after looking through the rest of the magazine, I realized that that time period was one of massive change. Women were realizing that they could have a life outside of the home, and that they didn’t necessarily have to grow up, get married, and have children right away. Coming-of-age for them would have been so much more difficult because they would have had to choose if they wanted to go the traditional route and make everyone happy, or go against their culture and either go to college or get a job instead.

I’m not a feminist by any means, but it is cool to see that the young women in that time period were working to change the status quo. It’s especially good to know that my choice to go to school doesn’t have to be one that many people would question at all. I think that is all in thanks to those women who began to change the norm for everyone.

Meeting Mohammed and Alia (ESL Blog #5)

If you’ve ever been to Disney World, you would probably agree that it fulfills their motto of being “the happiest place on earth.” From the amazing rides, to the colorful shows, right down to the Mickey Mouse ears you can wear to emulate the famous mouse. Now think about how true that would be if you had never heard of or seen a place like this, and happened to visit on a whim. Well, that is how my ESL couple landed at the happiest place on earth for their spring break vacation, and their retelling of the experience made me feel happy even though I didn’t get to go myself.

As I walked into our normal meeting place in 1873, Mohammed and Alia both lit up and hurriedly waved me over to their table. “Taylor! We just had the best vacation of our lives! Please let us tell you about it.” They began describing their trip by saying that their family friends told them to go visit Orlando for the beaches that they had never seen. But upon driving around the city, they discovered this fancy park that looked fun, so they took their 2 kids and went up to the gate. “We had arrived at this magical place called ‘Disney World’, have you heard of it?” I chuckled a little bit as I told them that this was a very popular tourist attraction where many families decide to vacation with their children. They then began to describe how their children squealed in delight at each new site that they saw, and how they couldn’t imagine a better trip.

While listening to them recount their trip in great detail, I realized that they were not having as much trouble finding English words as they usually do. I eagerly sat up and was again riveted by the fast-paced learning they had accomplished since moving to the United States in January. When they began to wind down their story, I asked them how their learning program was coming along. Alia smirked as she said that both of them had moved up to the highest level verbally! This made me so proud since they came in at the lowest level. She then began to explain her other problem: writing.

She described that they could easily catch on to English, but they had terrible struggles when it came to learning to write it. “See, in Arabic, the letters make sense to me. When you put them together, I can see a whole word. But when I get to English, I cannot understand the symbols and they look like a mash of lines and dots.” I guess I had never thought of that before, but it makes sense. In order to learn to speak another language, you mostly have to listen and repeat back what you hear. But in order to write it, you have to adopt a new way of seeing symbols, and having them make full words and sentences. This isn’t even including the weird grammar and spelling rules that may confuse someone more. I guess I never thought about how complicated learning English really was!

As we said good-bye for that meeting, I realized I am very impressed by that couple. They have made such progress in their learning, and the effort they are putting in is incredible. While I may not be able to learn another language like they can (I swear that part of my brain has been turned off), I can try my best to appreciate the efforts they are putting into learning our language. It’s the best way I can make them feel like where they have come is the happiest place on earth. 

Home? (The House on Mango Street Blog)

I’ve always loved reading. Losing myself in a good book is something I can do for hours on end without even noticing the time passing. So, sitting on a bench across from my house on a beautiful spring day (since I was home for Easter), I begin to read The House on Mango Street expecting to get lost in its pages. But, I’ll admit it; I was more interested by the floating butterflies than on the book that I’m about to read. Despite my surrounding distractions, I slowly make my way through the first few pages of the book. Being only 110 pages, it should have only taken me a few hours to complete. But with my distracted mood, it took me the whole day. Even so, I think that made the experience of reading the story even better for me.

I think the reason I liked this story was for how I found a strange connection to Esperanza. On the surface, we seem to be polar opposites. But through reading the vignettes, I realize we are both so affected by our various homes and how we interacted with them. Esperanza has to deal with the fact that she does not consider her house to be her home, and similarly I have found it terribly difficult to find a home for myself. Esperanza moved from Paulina to Keeler to Loomis to the house on Mango. I myself moved from Hove to Leon to Firestone to Preston to Pistoia to Weymouth to my semi-home at TCU. I guess I never considered how significant it was that I moved so many times, and how I had never felt myself to be in a home. But that is the case.

            When I lived on Leon, I made all of my friends, like Angela. Just so, Esperanza made her friends like Lucy and Rachel. When I lived on Firestone, I mostly think of fighting and some sad family times, which is similar to how Esperanza had to cope with her Aunt Lupe’s death. But this place of sadness is a place of great growth for me personally, because that is when I learned what I wanted in life. Esperanza learned through watching others that she did not want the suburban boring life that many women have there. And these affects are just a few examples.

            This may seem like a lot to think about while reading this small book, but after each small story I found myself looking up at my surroundings, thinking of how the small things that happen in her life parallel things that have happened in mine. Maybe not in an exact way, but to the point where it made me continuously stop and contemplate.

            As the sun began to set around me, I realized I had been outside for a much longer time than I had expected. But, I ended up contemplating things that I didn’t realize I would ever think about. Just like Esperanza, I realized that even though I have moved onto a new home in Fort Worth, my home will always be with the people that have been with me throughout my life. 

A Bonfire of Epic Proportions (Sketch #6)

My bleary eyes peeled open as I tried to focus them on the wooden ceiling above me. This was certainly not enough sleep for anyone to function, especially not when in this kind of situation. I attempted to move my stiff limbs from the bed, which was much more work than I would have thought. My feet shuffled across the floor as I felt something under my foot. I looked down nonchalantly, only to see a giant grasshopper. “Holy *^%&$@!” Without thought, a very not-nice word flew out in a scream from my mouth as I hopped around the room in a frantic dance that must have looked like I was on fire. Thus began the second day of the best week of my life.

            This whole process began when my school asked for applications for leaders for a 6^th grade trip to our local camp, called Sky Ranch. Having been to camp every summer since I was 8, I knew I could easily handle the outdoors aspect of the trip. I am also the oldest in my entire family, so I have gotten very used to taking care of younger kids. After a couple of months, I found out that I had been chosen! I was ecstatic.

            After packing up my shorts, t-shirts, and old tennis shoes, I was ready. Loading the bus with the 5 6^th graders, I had no idea what kind of week I was in for. The heat on the bus was nearly suffocating, but singing a bunch of songs helped us pass the time until we reached Van, Texas. In our matching green shirts, we all stepped into the camp with a confidence that only comes with the naïve nature of young children.

            The first day I bubbled with joy at this opportunity to influence these girls, but this slowly dwindled throughout the week, especially with plenty of episodes like the one where I inadvertently exposed my campers to a word most of them had never heard. I had even put non-SPF lotion on one of my girls, causing her to get massive sunburn on her back. After all of these events, I knew there was no way to redeem the week, especially by this point it was the last night. As my mind swirled with disappointment, we made our way to the final event, the bonfire.

            The heat of the day still seemed to stick to my skin as we walked closer to the glowing ebb that was the bonfire. We sat on a blanket, but that didn’t stop the wet grass from soaking through my shorts. The smell of the smoke filled my nostrils as a sense of change washed over me. The entire group of 6^th grades was eerily silent, and I knew this night would be different. It was silent for nearly 10 minutes, and I thought this would be a bust of a night. But, a brave little girl stood up and began to talk about the amazing week she had, and how she had learned that she could be a successful person just like her counselor. Another boy stood up and said that he had learned that he should be confident in himself despite his learning differences. The stories continued for a couple hours, until one of my girls stood up. She began talking about how she had learned to love her body instead of trying to hurt herself because I had shown her that she was beautiful.

            Tears began flowing down my face as I realized that she was actually talking about me. I had taught a little girl something that huge?? There was just no way. I could not comprehend something of that depth. It was so incredible to me that I could influence anyone to that extent; especially with the mistakes I had made all week. As she sat down, I could do nothing but hug all of those girls and thank them. Despite me being the ‘teacher’ that week, they had taught me so much more: that I can be a light to someone without even knowing it.

            Now I left that trip not without some major bug bites and bruises from the slides, but I know now that yes, we all make mistakes, but if we are doing everything whole-heartedly with the best of intentions, it can turn out for the best.

Courage (To Kill a Mockingbird Blog)

            Sitting in my cozy chair by my window, I watched as the predicted storm blew in from the west. It was going to be a doozey they said, so I figured this would be the perfect day of my spring break to dive into To Kill a Mockingbird for a second time. I had read this novel before (like I’m sure many of you had), but I was really excited to get a new perspective on it as a 19-year old college student as opposed to a 13-year old middle schooler.  

            With the storm now in full-force with thunder blaring, I came to a part that truly made an impact on me at that moment. Atticus says to Jem, “I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do.” In this quote, Atticus refers to Mrs. Dubose’s insistence to beat her morphine addiction before she died, just so she could die a free woman.

            After reading that part of the book, I couldn’t help but pause and think about what that really means. This old lady had a choice between dying pain-free but attached to a drug or wracked with pain but attached to nothing at all. She chose the hardest route possible. Just the same, Atticus chose the absolute hardest route in defending Tom. Yes, he was required to do so, but the extent to which he tried to win the case was the bravest part of all. He endured ridicule and even the ridicule of his children and did it with a wholeheartedly.

            In the beginning of the book, Scout doesn’t understand why they can’t just lie to their friends about why their dad is defending Tom. She has no concept of courage and doing the right thing just for the sake of doing the right thing. But by the end of the novel, I think Scout truly understands that courage is something that she must have in order to become a ‘grown-up’. I think when she led Boo back to the Radley house, she showed that she had earned her ‘badge of courage’ per say.

            I know this blog isn’t necessarily supposed to analyze the characters, but I just found the growing of Scout’s courage to be something so interesting that I couldn’t help but talk about it. The whole time I was reading the novel I couldn’t help but grow so fond of Scout’s benevolence toward things that no one else cared for, and how she could come to defend them. By the time I finished the book, I seriously wished that there were a sequel that could show how she turned out in her later years from having Atticus as a father through all of her childhood experiences.

            I guess I had never thought of courage as something we all have to learn during our growing up. We have to have it in order to not be afraid of the monsters under the bed, and so that we can do what’s right even if we don’t want to. Although she may just be a little girl, I think the story she ‘tells’ can inspire others to have just a tiny bit of courage too. 

Fear is Overcome (Sketch #5)

As I sat in anticipation, I could feel the cold sweat beading up on the back of my neck. The sweet-smelling hairspray I had used this morning now gave me a nauseous feeling in my stomach. I was suddenly aware of an intense twitching in my right foot, and my mouth seemed to be as dry as the Sahara. “You can do this” was the mantra I had been continually telling myself for the past couple of weeks, but now it seemed to be a futile cliché. As if in a faraway place, I caught the ending of the announcer saying “… and now I present to you, our Valedictorian of 2011, Taylor Holstrom!”

            As I slowly walked up the stairs for what seemed like ages, I couldn’t help but recall how much I feared public speaking. It was just one of those things that I told myself I would never do in my lifetime. I’m just not the best person for it. Even when I get called on in class my face turns a bright red out of fear of saying something wrong. So when my vice principal told me that I would be speaking at graduation because I was the valedictorian, I was more horrified than honored. I pictured me tripping up the stairs, not remembering anything I was going to say, then just running off of the stage in tears. The speech that was now on sweaty note cards had been gone over hundreds of times, but it still didn’t seem to calm the nerves that I was feeling. At this point of my mental turmoil, I had made it to the podium.

            I began to get situated as my heart rate climbed. Seeing those couple thousand people certainly didn’t help. The lights were bright, but I was able to focus on one person in the crowd: my mom. I could see her bright smile and proud glow from a mile away. After a few deep breaths, I began to speak. “If I have learned anything from my past 13 years at Trinity…” I shakily began. But, with each passing sentence, I grew more confident. I was doing it! I was giving a speech to all of these people and not failing miserably.

            As I began to near the end of my speech, I think I had one of those outer body experiences. Well, maybe not to that extent, but I began to really notice the implications of what I was trying to impart to my fellow graduates. “…and I hope you will not let your fear of failure keep you from attempting to achieve something greater than you could imagine.” At that moment, I realized I had done just that. I had seriously thought that my speech would be a huge disaster and that I would ruin graduation for everyone. But because I was somehow able to overcome that fear (I’m pretty sure it was mostly because my mom encouraged me through my multiple panic attacks), I achieved something I never thought I would be able to do.

            By the time the audience’s applause hit my ears, I knew that this would be a moment that I would forever keep in my memory bank. Not because I graduated, or because I had the privilege to speak as the valedictorian, but because I was able to do something I never thought possible. And as cliché as you may think it sounds, I know that it is a moment that has made me the much more confident person I am today.