Meeting Mohammed and Alia (ESL Blog 6)

Imagine a beautiful spring day. Some might say that they want to go play at the park. Some might want to read a classic book. But for me, my favorite thing to do is to sit outside with some friends and just talk about life. It may seem slightly cheesy, but I think the combination of the warmth from the sunlight and seeing the beauty that nature brings allows for the best of life conversations. I confirmed my theory on this beautiful Thursday afternoon as Mohammed, Alia, and I found a spot of soft grass in the commons and began one of the best conversations we had throughout the semester. 

            We began with our usual conversation, talking about school, our upcoming weekends, and our families. After a short while of this small talk, we drifted into talking about how Mohammed loved that they had the opportunity to go to his friend’s ‘American’ wedding. “It was a fun event, but here it is not as big of a party like at home!” I laughed a little and asked what he meant, because to me, weddings here are huge parties! He explained that at home the weddings begin with the official ceremony at the wife’s home, in which the couple is actually married. But then, the real party starts. Then, they normally shift the event to another relative’s house, where they eat and socialize. He said they do this for a couple of hours, then get up the next morning and party some more, and repeat this cycle for the next few days! Man, and I thought our wedding receptions were crazy. He further clarified that in his country of Saudi the man pays for the entire wedding, in addition to giving the wife’s family a ‘bride price’ and giving the bride a ton of jewelry, all adding up to around $80,000! Well, now I would definitely want a part in THAT kind of a wedding.

Still reveling in imagining this type of crazy party, Alia started telling me that this weekend was one of the times where she realized that her favorite part of being in America is the freedom that she has while being here. “While we’re at home, I have more freedoms than you would think, but when we are here, I just can’t explain how much more, well, free I feel.” She began to explain how she couldn’t really explain what she meant; but she knows that everyone here is very welcoming and pretty much do what they want to do, which she loves. Like for example, she could go to the wedding and sit wherever she wanted instead of having to sit with her side of the family. She said that this showed her that instead of following the status quo, like when she’s at home, people here seem to do what they feel is best. I guess I had never thought about it in this way, and it really did make me grateful for being able to be in such a free country.

After we exhausted many more topics that I had never thought we would get to, like camping and even 9/11, we all sat for a few more minutes in the still bright sunshine. I felt a twinge of sadness at this being our last meeting, but I knew that this was a great note to end on. Not only have I learned about their culture from what they have told me, I have learned about mine from their reflection on it. I have also learned that while words are important in being able to communicate, the most important thing is to share life with other people, whether your sister, mom, dad, or the couple that was assigned to you for an ESL assignment.