Sitting in Barnes and Noble with my iced
coffee, I waited anxiously for Mohammed and Alia to arrive. I’m not normally a
nervous person, but this would be a new experience for me. Besides some simple
math tutoring for little kids, I had never been on the teaching side of
anything. Once I saw them walking through the doors, I waved them over with my
sweaty palms. Easing my nerves, they both immediately shook my hand firmly with
a huge smile on each of their faces as they introduced themselves.
When we began talking, I was shocked at
their superb use of English for only being in the United States for four weeks.
Mohammad began to tell me that he worked for the environmental protection
agency of Saudi Arabia after receiving two PhDs. After working for a few years,
he was given a three-year vacation! What a difference from the (maybe) one-week
vacations Americans get from their jobs. Sitting close to him, Mohammad’s wife
Alia is also exceptionally intelligent as she taught science classes to college
students at home. I felt so intimidated comparing their extensive knowledge to
mine!
Nervously attempting at conversation, I
asked Alia if they had any family in the area. Immediately her eyes lit up as
she told me about her 3 children, 8 siblings, and dozens of nieces and nephews.
It was hard for her to comprehend that most Americans have small families
because in Saudi Arabia everyone has at least 5 siblings. Something I found
different about her use of English is that she rarely referred to herself. Nearly
everything she talked about had to do with “others-centered” stories and
events. I guess the “me-centered” language seems so normal to most Americans,
but to her it probably seems very selfish. I will definitely want to ask her
about their opinion on this subject once we get to know each other better.
Then we began talking about a favorite
topic of mine: food. Mohammed told me that they have had the most trouble
finding cuisine that they like to eat. I couldn’t help but be in shock when
they asked me what “Tex-Mex” and “bagels” were. Shocked, I explained with an
almost drooling mouth (maybe due to my lack of lunch) about two of my favorite
foods. The couple began talking about their favorite types of cooking, but in a
slightly different way than I expected. Instead of referring to their love of
specific types of food (like I had done), Alia talked more about how she
cherishes cooking for her big family and having time to enjoy each other’s company.
This also intrigued me, especially seeing that food is a main staple of
enjoyment for most Americans
Finishing up our conversation, I really
began to realize the cultural differences the couple faces in being in a new
country. Being used to collectivistic and family-oriented situations at all
times, it must be very hard to adapt to being in an immensely individualistic
society. I truly hope that I will be able to gain the ability to see my world
from a more collectivistic viewpoint, and help my language reflect that. I’m
also hoping that they will have something, whether small or large, to learn
from me. No matter what, I’m more than excited to begin this journey into this
new territory.
Taylor,
ReplyDeleteThis is fantastic. I really enjoyed the distinction between the "others-centered" and "me-centered" styles of speech. In my studies of foreign languages, I've noticed that speech is intimately tied to culture. The Japanese, for example, are very passive in their expressions (i.e., "stomach is empty" rather than "I'm hungry"). The Saudi Arabians, in this same regard, hold others more highly than oneself - in Khaled Hosseini's "The Kite Runner," the father of the narrator, in a moment of mentorship, states that theft is the only true crime. I look forward to reading more of your blog posts!
- Luke M.
Hi Taylor, Thanks for the wonderful post. I am saw glad that you had a good, insightful experience with Mohammed and Alia. Your distinction between other-centered and me-centered is so true, and so revealing about our culture. Thanks for sharing. dw
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